


Alive

by PsycheStellata707



Category: One Piece
Genre: Acceptance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Love Confessions, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2019-01-18 16:04:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12391497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsycheStellata707/pseuds/PsycheStellata707
Summary: He wasn't afraid of dying but fate wouldn't let him die.Inspired by Sia's song- Alive





	Alive

**Author's Note:**

> Lyrics are italicized and centered.

 

"Torao, sheesh, you're thinking too much again! You should stop that and enjoy! It's a party!! A partyyy!!!"

The feisty straw hatted rubber person jumped up and down like a damn monkey. Perhaps he took his name too literally.

Not wanting to waste more of his energy, Trafalgar Law, the almighty 'Torao' shrugged it off.

"I'm tired Mugiwara-ya"

"You Lie! How can you be tired when you do nothing but stare into the air?! Where's the fun in that ehh?"

"It's fun enough for me. Now if you will, I shall excuse myself"

Standing up, he headed to the nearest room he could find where he could have some much needed privacy; something that is apparently nonexistent in the straw hat's vocabulary.

"Eh no wait Torao! You can't do that this party is—"

aaaand he was gone.

"Sheesh Torao is always so serious. I hope he could enjoy a bit more." Luffy pouted before getting distracted by the newly cooked batch of his precious precious meat.

* * *

 

_I found solace in the strangest place_  
_Way in the back of my mind_  
_I saw my life in a stranger's face_  
_And it was mine_

Law was alone in the library of the Thousand Sunny, it was dark as he didn't bother to open any lights. He could hear the faint sound of cheers and laughters,as well as the jolly and awfully lively music played by a skeleton. How beautifully ironic.

He was not drunk nor was he sick. He was simply not accustomed to such events. Even as a kid, he rarely goes to parties and festivals (unless his beloved younger sister begged to go with him; he can never refuse his sister.) It was not like he hated the strawhats.

He took a deep breath and massaged his temples. He was not free, despite Corazon's wish and his gift; he still wasn't free. He was chained heavily to his past and it was not something so light that it can be disregarded after few years. His guilt and his conscience are keeping him from true freedom. It was the punishment he bestowed upon himself.

His memories as a child are not exactly what you'd describe as pleasant; and thinking about the past gives him nothing but anger, hatred, sadness, pain and guilt. Too much and he might get lost in his own mind and destroy the last bit of sanity he has.

He really does love irony. The only comfort he has is his own mind, yet too much will destroy himself; or maybe destroying his own mind and body is the only way to attain peace and comfort? He doesn't know, he doesn't care, he's used to these things.

_I had a one-way ticket to a place where all the demons go_  
_Where the wind don't change_  
_And nothing in the ground can ever grow_  
_No hope, just lies_  
_And you're taught to cry into your pillow_

  
He is twisted, he knows that. He's done terrible things; lots of it. Some he regrets, some he does not. Nothing good he does can ever excuse him of the things he committed, no matter his reasons. It's not as if he cares about it either way. He is a pirate, and being a pirate automatically equals to being evil, at least according to the general populace.

He was feared and called a demon as a child for a disease he didn't choose to have. He survived the genocide. He survived the incurable disease. He survived.

_But I survived_

He was fated to die even before he was born. From his birth, his life was timed. Only allowed to live until the age of 13. Yet he didn't die.

_I'm still breathing_

The world government ordered the extermination of the people of the white city. Everyone he knew lay cold, lifeless in the streets he knew so well. The beautiful white city of Flevance now dyed red from the blood of its people. The pure white snow now tainted black from the ashes of dead embers that strayed from the raging fire, consuming everything he knows, everything he holds dear, and everything he wanted. Yet he didn't die.

_I'm still breathing_

He escaped under piles of corpses. He refused to die, not because of fear and cowardice, but out of hatred and rage. He wanted revenge. He wanted justice. He hated everyone; everything.

_I'm still breathing_

Joining the Donquixote family was a mistake he regrets more than anything. If he didn't join the family, he wouldn't have met Corazon and if Corazon didn't meet Law, he would still be alive; Dressrosa wouldn't have happened and Law would have been dead. Not bad, he thought.

_I'm still breathing_

He wasn't afraid of dying, to be honest. Even at the prospect of his own death by the age of 13 didn't frighten him as it should have. He was shocked yes, and perhaps a little sad because that means he wouldn't be able to make his dream come true— becoming an outstanding doctor like his father to help other people— but he wasn't frightened, he didn't know, although, that it wasn't a trait of most people. (Apparently those who hold the will of D has this trait; though, only few people are aware of this.)

He thought he'd die of the disease, he thought he'd die of the genocide. But he didn't. He wasn't afraid of dying but fate wouldn't let him die.

_I'm alive_

He was prepared to die when he joined the family. He didn't care what he has to do to attain what he wanted. He was prepared for death, his end and demise.

What he wasn't prepared for was to live. He wasn't prepared for a smiling idiot to save his life. It was totally uncalled for— he blamed the idiot, he cursed him but those are nothing but masks to hide his grief and devastation for losing someone important the second time.

_I'm alive_

He was prepared to die when he faced off Doflamingo in Dressrosa to avenge the person who gave him back his sanity and his life. He swore he'd kill Doflamingo even if he has to go down with him. He was living with a borrowed time and he swore he will fulfill Cora-san's mission for him, using the life he gave. He was prepared to die there, after getting his revenge, he would pay for the price of the sins he have committed.

What he wasn't prepared for was to live. He wasn't prepared for a smiling idiot to save his life. Deja vu? How amusing isn't it. Fucking fate. They survived somehow and now he's lost. He was prepared to die, yet he lives.

_I'm alive_

Law was brought back to reality by a knock on the door. He was confused for a moment, he was deeply in thought after all.

"Torao, I'm coming in" a familiar voice said. Law was still recovering from his trance.

"Torao, were you sleeping? We were wondering if you wanted to eat, there's still much food and you haven't eaten yet. Are you sick?" The straw hatted captain said.

Having recovered from his thoughts, he looked to the young boy standing before him. His smile was blinding despite being in a dark room.

"I'm fine. I'm not particularly hungry, nor am I in the mood to eat"

"Are you thinking too much again? You should stop that you know. We defeated Doflamingo but you look worse than before. You're not keeping anything from me aren't you? I mean, you are really acting strange and I think we can solve any problem as long as we talk about it right?"

Ahh here he goes again. Poking his nose into my business. "It's none of your business" he scowled.

"But it is!! I'm worried Torao! You don't look happy! You're my nakama now so of course I'm worried!"

"Who decided such things? I'm just your ally Mugiwara-ya, not your friend"

"You don't get to decide those stuffs!! No matter what you say you're my nakama! We fought together and you even saved my life many times! So when you're in trouble I want to help you! You're obviously hurting and I want to take the pain away!!"

"Why do you care so much? I saved your life, you saved mine. Isn't that enough?" Law, standing up, a bit enraged for Luffy's intrusion and nosing around

"It doesn't count! How can you call that 'saving your life' when until now you don't want to live? Tell me Torao!"

Law paused. He didn't expect those words out of his mouth.  
"And what is it to you?" He said softly, his voice almost breaking from the trembling of his body. He was aware of this but he didn't know it would have such impact being said clearly in his face.

"It means a lot to me!! You are important!"

"Again I don't understand why and just why—"

"Because you're an idiot Torao! You don't see how awesome you are! You are strong, you have cool powers plus you are so smart and you are a doctor that can save many lives! You are so amazing but you don't have any will to live! You see yourself as a bad guy when you aren't!! And most importantly, I don't want you to die!"

"Don't speak as if you know everything about me. I'm not as great as you think. And even so, it doesn't have anything to do with you— how i live my life—and it's not like I'm actively trying to kill myself"

"It does! I don't want you to live like that. I want you to have fun! If you have problems you can tell me, if you are sad then I will hug you as you cry! If you have an enemy then I'd kick their butts with you, for you! So don't look so sad all the time! Don't be scared of being happy!"

"Why would you even go that far?!" Law was breaking down. His feelings are overwhelming him and his thoughts. It was such a blow to him, having the truth spelled out in his face, the truth he tried so hard to hide. He was afraid of gaining happiness, of being free; he thinks he doesn't deserve this privilege. Everything he touches dies, everything he holds dear disappears. This is his punishment. He wasn't allowed to be happy, to be free, and to be loved.

"Because I love you!!"

Luffy shouted in full honesty and genuineness. There was not a shred of hesitation in his eyes, only innocence and the purity of his words and feelings—he was smiling like an idiot and his smile brings Law to tears.

_Ahh this again. Those words, that smile._  
_I hate them —but what is this warm feeling in my chest? It feels like it will burst out anytime._

_I didn't know i still have this in me. I thought I killed it when Flevance died. I thought it died when Cora-san died. Yet what is this?_

He couldn't say anything. His body was trembling, he flopped down his seat. His elbow resting on his knees and his hands covering his face. He was confused. He knew what this was, yet he refuses to accept them. He was not suited for this. He is corrupted. Nothing good ever happens to those he treasures. So he buried his treasures away.

"Torao?"

Luffy walked closer and put his arms around Law, pulling him into a hug. Law didn't resist. Luffy slowly caressed his back and hummed. "It's okay. I'm here Torao. You deserve to be happy. I know you're a kind and a really awesome guy! I will never love an evil person so I know you're not! They say I'm a good judge of character too, whatever that means. As long as I'm here, you won't need to be sad anymore! So cheer up Torao! Today is a special day after all!!"

Law doesn't know what to say anymore, but he felt warm, he felt at peace, all his worries and nightmares suddenly faded away. He was content like this. It felt like he was finally free from the chains dragging him down to the depths of despair.

_If I'm allowed one happiness, this is all I'd ever ask._

He hugged back.

"Thank you....."

Was all he can say, holding back his tears that threaten to fall. It was a simple thank you, yet it was full of emotions. Luffy could feel them, he could only smile and hold Law tighter

  
I'm alive

  
"Shishishi!! Happy Birthday Torao!"

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! I didn't include the whole song and just chose some parts. This was supposed to be posted on Law's birthday but i didn't have an account back then and i didn't know it'd be quite complicated to make one (forgive my ignorance, i never bothered to make an account ;-;) so yes it's a belated gift to our dear surgeon of death! I hope you guys liked it and please do leave my comments. It's my first ever work, please be kind xDD


End file.
